Sexual Abuse and Sexual Harassment are Sinful Acts

Sexual Abuse and Harassment

Sexual abuse is a serious matter. It tugs at our hearts and grieves us that there are men that abuse women mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and sexually. Ladies, it is so stupid that there are men that tell you to “smile”. The creepy old guys that think it is okay to stare at you below the neck when they clearly see you notice that they’re doing it…they just keep staring anyway. The guys that keep hitting on you after you have let them know you’re not interested. Whistling at you. You’re afraid to walk alone at night. Men slow down their cars as you are walking in town…then either hit on you or speed away.
There are people that say it was your fault you were sexually abused because you dressed immodestly. People that say you shouldn’t have tempted the man by the way you dressed. There are pastors who claim the name of Christ that take advantage of women and that don’t take allegations of abuse seriously. It can be difficult for someone to open up to a pastor about their abuse experience but I can only imagine how I would feel if I did that and the pastor didn’t take me seriously. Churches are supposed to be places where you can trust your pastor, not where your pastor makes a move on you or ignores your sincere and truthful claims of abuse.
Some men think it’s fine to hit their wives because after all women should submit to their husbands, right? Some Christian men emotionally abuse their wives. They call you fat. They manipulate you. You are afraid when they come home. You’re afraid for your kids too. They don’t think women have a voice in the home. Submit right? I am complementarian but I am not for cruel authoritarian dictatorships. God calls husbands to LOVE their wives.
In the majority of cases men abuse women. However there are women that abuse men. Men that abuse boys. Women that abuse boys. Women that let their sleazy boyfriends take advantage of girls. Grandfathers that take advantage of their grandkids. Sick. Sex abuse happens in every culture. As an American, I tend to only view the world through the lens of my experience of living in America. However in every country there are people who are sexually abused. As Christians (especially as Christian men) we need to take a stand and call men everywhere to treat women with respect and charity. We need to proclaim the love of Christ to this broken world. The fact that sex trafficking is a reality immensely hurts our hearts. Every Christian should clearly condemn sexual sins of every kind but especially sex abuse. Some say we should just listen to these stories from victims. I believe that we are not really helping anyone if we don’t share the gospel or share the encouragement and hope we have in Christ. We should listen to their stories, but we need to point them to Christ. Abuse victims need the gospel. Abusers need the gospel too. Everyone needs the gospel.
Maybe you have been abused by someone in the church…someone that you were supposed to trust. Someone who claimed to love God but chose to follow his lusts and he sexually abused you or raped you. I believe that is very very wrong and sinful. These people are not representing what Christians should be like. Some people who claim the name of Christ may be charlatans who use His name to take advantage of people. Jesus does not take advantage of people. Jesus did not abuse you.
False allegations of sex abuse, sexual harassment, or physical abuse are completely sinful too and should be condemned. I know someone who had consensual sex with a girl when he was 18 and she was 14 (this was like 5 years ago). He regretted it and has repented of it but she came out accusing him of sexual assault. It was reported to police and he could be sent to jail if found guilty. The local news outlet reported on it and their account of what happened made it almost undeniable that this man was a sex abuser. Their report said he sexually assaulted her in an abandoned cabin where they met for tutoring. I don’t think it could sound any worse than that and the picture they used of him made him look very creepy. In fact, I even believed this account at first.
I certainly can understand that the majority of cases of sex abuse are men abusing women and most of the time the women are telling the truth. But this person is a clear example that the accusations are not always truthful.  This was a case where she initiated and now regrets it. It doesn’t make this person’s choice right but it should certainly give me a reason to not believe all accusations of abuse are true. Had this girl used #metoo #church too hash tag people would probably believe her. I am very sure that they would side with her before they would side with the man.  The abuse of women is taken very seriously and I would strongly infer that most people would side with a woman every time in the case of a woman claiming a man sexually abused or raped her.
The only source of hope and comfort in this world is found in Jesus Christ. The Lamb of God who came to earth and died for our sins in our place.  May God give us strength to forgive those who have hurt us, just as Christ forgave us for our sins.

Privilege

Privilege according to the Cambridge dictionary is defined as a special advantage or authority possessed by a particular person or group. There is nothing wrong with being aware of privileges that different people or groups have that others do not possess. I have more privileges by being born and raised in America than I would had I been born and raised in North Korea. If you are the boss of a company, you will have more privileges than someone who works as a regular employee.
If we go by this simple defintion, when we talk about privileges we are making distinctions about the different advantages that different people or groups have in different societies and cultures. Every group or person in a discussion about privilege has advantages that the other group does not have. The problem starts when you look at those privileges through a socialist/Marxist lens. You turn the discussion into us versus them. One group has power and the other is powerless. “Men have more privileges than women”, therefore women have more disadvantages than men in life and men have all the power. Something needs to be done so that men lose that power and women attain and have power.
God made me a man. He made me to be a white man who would be born in America.  I know there are a lot of things that I will never have to worry about because of who I am and where I live.  But I didn’t choose this body and I only know what it is like to be a white man. Just because I am a white man doesn’t make it right to discount my opinions or say that what I go through isn’t as important or as serious as what women go through with sexual harassment. When you start comparing sins and who has more privilege I believe you are speaking unbiblically.
All sins that are committed against us hurt us and are very serious and important to each of us individually. To someone being bullied at school, that is a big deal. Someone that has experienced sexual abuse or rape…HUGE deal to them. Racially motivated violence and people that are treated differently because of their skin color…that is a big deal to those who have to experience that reality. Infidelity…it’s big deal to the person who has to go through that. Persecution for claiming the name of Christ…it’s serious and important but we are to expect persecution and suffering for being Christ followers. Remember that from an earthly perspective, the most unfair act ever committed was the crucifixion of Christ.
Christ did not talk about privilege. This idea that different groups have special privileges and that it is up to us as humans to fix the problems is unbiblical and divisive. Christ preached a kingdom of unity. We are all guilty before God for our sins and he is not a respecter of persons. He doesn’t choose us based on what we do or because we deserved anything. He chose us because He loved us. In fact, the biggest privilege might honestly be those of us who have access to God’s Word. You want to talk about privilege, think about how we (in the U.S. or the West) can access the Bible on our phones but there are people who don’t have a Bible in their own language. Or think about the freedom we have in America to gather together in worship when people in other countries can be killed or put in prison for simply owning a Bible.

We who claim the name of Christ are to be united as the Body of Christ. The Body is made up of people of different races, ethnicities, and nationalities. The Body is made of men and women. The Body is made of both young and old, wealthy and poor. The Body is made of husbands, wives, singles, widows, widowers, sons, daughters, and orphans. The socialist ideology has atheism as it’s foundation. We as Christians have the Word of God. We have a personal and all-powerful, all-knowing God who chose to reveal himself to us and bring us into a relationship with Him. It is certainly important to speak out against injustice and to realize there are some things that happen in societies and cultures that are wicked. However we know that we live in a fallen world. All sin stems from loving pleasure more than God and loving ourselves more than loving our neighbors. There will always be abusers, murderers, idolaters, racists, and violence. Our primary aim as Christians is to preach Christ crucified to every person. If we want to see the world changed we need to preach the gospel.

Calvinism

I am a 5 point calvinist (that just sounds negative…because it has this negative stigma attached to it) and I want to address some misrepresentations that were made of calvinism. I don’t worship John Calvin. I just believe that his works accurately explain the truths that the Bible has always contained…this was just the first time these truths were put together in a systematic way. Some people think we are obsessed with sin and we always talk about God’s wrath. One person said, “the 5 solas permit people to be jerks. God is only going to save those he elects so to hell with the rest anyway”. Don’t believe everything you read on the internet or hear someone say. We should all be discerning and compare what people say about God to His Word. Here are the articles from the Bible Fellowship Church Articles of Faith on Human responsibility and election:

 

Article 10 – Human Ability and Responsibility     

10-1 In his original creation man was endowed with the ability to will and do good or evil and was accountable for his willing and doing.1 But through the fall of Adam man lost his ability, apart from God’s grace,2 to will and to do those things necessary for a right relationship with God;3 however, he is still accountable to God for obedience to all of His commands.4 Man has not lost his ability to make decisions,5 but left to himself, he acts only in accordance with his fallen, sinful nature.6
10-2 Only by God’s infinite grace can man will or do anything necessary to his salvation. 7By that grace, God saves those men whom He causes to will and to do good;8 however, He does this without nullifying man’s ability to act responsibly. 91 And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die” (Gen.2:16,17).
2 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath (Eph.2:1-3).
3 There is no one who understands, no one who seeks God (Rom.3:11). Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God (Rom.8:8).
4 God “will give to each person according to what he has done.” To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile (Rom.2:6-10). In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent (Acts 17:30).
5 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live (Deu.30:11,19).
6 As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one” (Rom.3:10,12). Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil (Jer.13:23). (See also footnote 2).
7 It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy (Rom.9:16).
He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created (James 1:18). Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God –  children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God (John 1:12-13).
9 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed–not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence–continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose (Phil.2:12,13).

Article 11 – Election     

11-1 Election is a free act of the sovereign God in which from eternity,1 for reasons known only to Himself,2 and apart from any foreseen faith and/or goodness found in man,3 He graciously chose from among the fallen mankind a people unto salvation, that they might be conformed to Christ’s image.4 Those so chosen He redeemed by His Son5and seals by His Spirit.61 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will (Eph.1:4,11).
2 “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him” (Mat.11:27).
3 Who has saved us and called us to a holy life – not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time (2Tim.1:9). For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom He predestined He also called, and those whom He called He also justified, and those whom He justified He also glorified (Rom.8:29-30).
4 Until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ (Eph.4:13).
5 But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth (2 Thes.2:13).
6 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit (Eph.1:13).
If you want to know what a calvinist actually believes rather than the misrepresentations that go around please visit this site:
Some people might be inclined to think: “This privileged white Christian male has no idea what he is talking about. He has never been abused, he doesn’t know what it’s like to be a woman and experience sexual harassment. He is not an abuse victim so he should just shut up. He probably would say he wants a woman to touch him anyway.” It seems that for me to write a blog post about sexual abuse with the hope that an abuse victim would find it and find comfort in Christ like I am doing here is something that I shouldn’t be doing according to some people. My aim is to speak the truth in love. The truth is only found in God’s Word.
As a calvinist, I believe it is important to share the bad news before you get to the good news. In regards to the use of #metoo, how do you listen to non christian women (or anyone) who have been abused that come out for the first time but also share the gospel with them if the gospel is that we are all sinners and guilty before God including abusers and even abused victims. I am not sure what the best way to do that is. But the me too hashtag to me, does not give true help unless it leads to gospel conversations. You can listen to an abuse victim for years and never give them the gospel and they will die in their sins. This is what the Bible teaches so these aren’t just my words.
14 “Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, 15 so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life. 16 For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Anyone who believes in him is not condemned, but anyone who does not believe is already condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the one and only Son of God. 19 This is the judgment: The light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone who does evil hates the light and avoids it, so that his deeds may not be exposed. 21 But anyone who lives by the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be shown to be accomplished by God.” John 3:14-21

18 For God’s wrath is revealed from heaven against all godlessness and unrighteousness of people who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth, 19 since what can be known about God is evident among them,because God has shown it to them. 20 For his invisible attributes, that is, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen since the creation of the world, being understood through what he has made. As a result, people are without excuse. 21 For though they knew God, they did not glorify him as God or show gratitude. Instead, their thinking became worthless, and their senseless hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man, birds, four-footed animals, and reptiles.

24 Therefore God delivered them over in the desires of their hearts to sexual impurity, so that their bodies were degraded among themselves. 25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served what has been created instead of the Creator, who is praised forever.Amen.

26 For this reason God delivered them over to disgraceful passions. Their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 The men in the same way also left natural relations with women and were inflamed in their lust for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the appropriate penalty of their error.

28 And because they did not think it worthwhile to acknowledge God, God delivered them over to a corrupt mind so that they do what is not right. 29 They are filled with all unrighteousness, evil, greed, and wickedness. They are full of envy, murder, quarrels, deceit, and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, arrogant, proud, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 senseless, untrustworthy, unloving,and unmerciful. 32 Although they know God’s just sentence—that those who practice such things deserve to die—they not only do them, but even applaud others who practice them. Romans 1:18-32

Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, or males who have sex with males, 10 no thieves,greedy people, drunkards, verbally abusive people, or swindlers will inherit God’s kingdom. 11 And some of you used to be like this. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

If only you would tear the heavens open
and come down,
so that mountains would quake at your presence—
just as fire kindles brushwood,
and fire boils water—
to make your name known to your enemies,
so that nations will tremble at your presence!
When you did awesome works
that we did not expect,
you who came down,
and the mountains quaked at your presence.
From ancient times no one has heard,
no one has listened to,
no eye has seen any God except you
who acts on behalf of the one who waits for him.
You welcome the one who joyfully does what is right;
they remember you in your ways.
But we have sinned, and you were angry.
How can we be saved if we remain in our sins?[a]
All of us have become like something unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like a polluted[b] garment;
all of us wither like a leaf,
and our iniquities carry us away like the wind.
No one calls on your name,
striving to take hold of you.
For you have hidden your face from us
and made us melt because of[c][d] our iniquity.
Yet Lord, you are our Father;
we are the clay, and you are our potter;
we all are the work of your hands.
Lord, do not be terribly angry
or remember our iniquity forever.
Please look—all of us are your people!
10 Your holy cities have become a wilderness;
Zion has become a wilderness,
Jerusalem a desolation.
11 Our holy and beautiful[e] temple,
where our fathers praised you,
has been burned down,
and all that was dear to us lies in ruins.
12 Lord, after all this, will you restrain yourself?
Will you keep silent and afflict us severely? Isaiah 64

Who has believed what we have heard?
And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
He grew up before him like a young plant
and like a root out of dry ground.
He didn’t have an impressive form
or majesty that we should look at him,
no appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of suffering who knew what sickness was.
He was like someone people turned away from;
he was despised, and we didn’t value him.

Yet he himself bore our sicknesses,
and he carried our pains;
but we in turn regarded him stricken,
struck down by God, and afflicted.
But he was pierced because of our rebellion,
crushed because of our iniquities;
punishment for our peace was on him,
and we are healed by his wounds.
We all went astray like sheep;
we all have turned to our own way;
and the Lord has punished him
for the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth.
Like a lamb led to the slaughter
and like a sheep silent before her shearers,
he did not open his mouth.
He was taken away because of oppression and judgment;
and who considered his fate?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
he was struck because of my people’s rebellion.
He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
but he was with a rich man at his death,
because he had done no violence
and had not spoken deceitfully.

10 Yet the Lord was pleased to crush him severely.[e]
When[f] you make him a guilt offering,
he will see his seed, he will prolong his days,
and by his hand, the Lord’s pleasure will be accomplished.
11 After his anguish,
he will see light and be satisfied.
By his knowledge,
my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will carry their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him the many as a portion,
and he will receive the mighty as spoil,
because he willingly submitted to death,
and was counted among the rebels;
yet he bore the sin of many
and interceded for the rebels. Isaiah 53

People claim that calvinists are obsessed with the wrath of God. There are a lot of Christians that don’t like to talk about the wrath of God. Yet the wrath of God can actually be a source of comfort out there for Christians who have been abused. God is love but He is also just and wrathful. If you leave out God’s wrath I believe your gospel is not as effective or consistent. The comfort of God’s wrath for abused Christians according to 2 Thessalonians 1 is that if someone has sexually abused you and they do not repent and trust in Christ, they will one day be judged. They might be guilty and be found innocent in a trial, but Jesus himself will judge them and bring them to justice. He will also judge those who make false accusations  that lead to an innocent person going to prison. God will judge the sexually immoral and liars.
We ought to thank God always for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, since your faith is flourishing and the love each one of you has for one another is increasing. Therefore, we ourselves boast about you among God’s churches—about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and afflictions that you are enduring. It is clear evidence of God’s righteous judgment that you will be counted worthy of God’s kingdom, for which you also are suffering, since it is just for God to repay with affliction those who afflict you and to give relief to you who are afflicted, along with us. This will take place at the revelation of the Lord Jesus from heaven with his powerful angels, when he takes vengeance with flaming fire on those who don’t know God and on those who don’t obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. They will pay the penalty of eternal destruction from the Lord’s presence and from his glorious strength 10 on that day when he comes to be glorified by his saints and to be marveled at by all those who have believed, because our testimony among you was believed. 11 In view of this, we always pray for you that our God will make you worthy of his calling, and by his power fulfill your every desire to do good[b] and your work produced by faith,12 so that the name of our Lord Jesus will be glorified by you, and you by him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Thessalonians 1:3-12
The immediate context of this passage is in reference to Christians that had been suffering persecution. However verse 8 says that the Jesus will “take vengeance with flaming fire on those who don’t know God and on those who don’t obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus” This means that everyone who has ever sinned against us and does not repent and trust Christ before their death will receive justice in the last days by Jesus himself.
Now this does not mean that since Jesus will judge them we should just do nothing as Christians. We should strongly condemn sexual abuse and harassment but we have a duty to share the gospel with every person. The gospel is what will change people’s hearts. An abuser can repent and trust in Christ through the power of the gospel.
As hard as it sounds, Christians who have been abused should eventually come to a place where they have forgiven their abuser and have peace in Christ. Christ forgives our sins so we are to forgive those who have sinned against us.
Yes Jesus loved people, he served them. He dined with sinners and was accused of being a glutton and a drunkard. He cared for women and loved children. He loved widows and orphans. But he came to die for our sins and to redeem us. He preached a gospel of repentance and a life of obedience to Him. He did not come to just meet their or our temporary needs. The sick people he healed eventually died. Lazarus was raised from the dead…he still died eventually. Jesus is the Son of God who eternally existed and came to the earth and took on flesh. He actively (“Christ’s full obedience to all the prescriptions of the divine law…[making] available a perfect righteousness before the law that is imputed or reckoned to those who put their trust in him.”) and passively (“[Christ’s] willing obedience in bearing all the sanctions imposed by that law against his people because of their transgression…[being] the ground of God’s justification of sinners (Rom. 5:9), by which divine act they are pardoned…”) obeyed God the Father and atoned for our sins on the cross. He was resurrected from the dead and we are justified and redeemed through Christ. Through the hearing and preaching of the Word of God, the holy Spirit draws us to God and opens our eyes to His truth:
 44 No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up on the last day.” John 6:44

18 For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but it is the power of God to us who are being saved. 19 For it is written,

I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
and I will set aside the intelligence of the intelligent.

20 Where is the one who is wise? Where is the teacher of the law?[c]Where is the debater of this age? Hasn’t God made the world’s wisdom foolish? 21 For since, in God’s wisdom, the world did not know God through wisdom, God was pleased to save those who believe through the foolishness of what is preached. 22 For the Jews ask for signs and the Greeks seek wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to the Jews and foolishness to the Gentiles.[d] 24 Yet to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God, 25 because God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength.

1 Corinthians 1:18-25

We do, however, speak a wisdom among the mature, but not a wisdom of this age, or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. On the contrary, we speak God’s hidden wisdom in a mystery, a wisdom God predestined before the ages for our glory. None of the rulers of this age knew this wisdom, because if they had known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But as it is written,

What no eye has seen, no ear has heard,
and no human heart has conceived—
God has prepared these things for those who love him.[c]

10 Now God has revealed these things to us by the Spirit, since the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts[d] except his spirit within him? In the same way, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 Now we have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who comes from God, so that we may understand what has been freely given to us by God. 13 We also speak these things, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual things to spiritual people.[e] 14 But the person without the Spirit[f] does not receive what comes from God’s Spirit, because it is foolishness to him; he is not able to understand it since it is evaluated[g] spiritually. 15 The spiritual person, however, can evaluate[h] everything, and yet he himself cannot be evaluated by anyone. 16 For

who has known the Lord’s mind,
that he may instruct him?[i]

But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2: 6-16

Now if the ministry that brought death, chiseled in letters on stones, came with glory, so that the Israelites were not able to gaze steadily at Moses’s face because of its glory, which was set aside, how will the ministry of the Spirit not be more glorious? For if the ministry that brought condemnation had glory, the ministry that brings righteousness overflows with even more glory. 10 In fact, what had been glorious is not glorious now by comparison because of the glory that surpasses it. 11 For if what was set aside was glorious, what endures will be even more glorious.

12 Since, then, we have such a hope, we act with great boldness. 13 We are not like Moses, who used to put a veil over his face to prevent the Israelites from gazing steadily until the end[d] of the glory of what was being set aside, 14 but their minds were hardened. For to this day, at the reading of the old covenant, the same veil remains; it is not lifted, because it is set aside only in Christ. 15 Yet still today, whenever Moses is read, a veil lies over their hearts, 16 but whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at[e] the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit.[f]

Therefore, since we have this ministry because we were shown mercy,we do not give up. Instead, we have renounced secret and shameful things, not acting deceitfully or distorting the word of God, but commending ourselves before God to everyone’s conscience by an open display of the truth. But if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. In their case, the god of this age has blinded the minds of the unbelievers to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ,[a] who is the image of God. For we are not proclaiming ourselves but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’s sake. For God who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of God’s glory in the face of Jesus Christ.

2 Corinthians 3:7-17, 4:1-6

 

I fight these injustices by calling them out and by pointing people to Christ. If you only create awareness but you don’t provide the solution, you really aren’t helping stop behaviors like this. We have to know why this behavior happens and we have to know where the solution is found. This behavior happens because men follow their own sinful desires. The solution is found in Jesus Christ.

 

Galatians 2:20

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Ephesians 5:2

and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

Remind them to submit to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to slander no one, to avoid fighting, and to be kind, always showing gentleness to all people. For we too were once foolish, disobedient, deceived, enslaved by various passions and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, detesting one another.

But when the kindness of God our Savior and his love for mankind appeared, he saved us—not by works of righteousness that we had done, but according to his mercy—through the washing of regenerationand renewal by the Holy Spirit. He poured out his Spirit on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior so that, having been justified by his grace, we may become heirs with the hope of eternal life.This saying is trustworthy. I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed God might be careful to devote themselves to good works. These are good and profitable for everyone. But avoid foolish debates, genealogies, quarrels, and disputes about the law, because they are unprofitable and worthless. 10 Reject a divisive person after a first and second warning. 11 For you know that such a person has gone astray and is sinning; he is self-condemned. Titus 3:1-11

You don’t know the experiences that I’ve been through. If you don’t me very well then you don’t know much about me at all. You have no idea what experiences I have gone through. You don’t know the pain I have felt from my difficult life experiences. So please don’t make assumptions about other people.
When I mentioned that I needed time to write this and that I wanted to share my perspective I was met with the following:
“The time is not right for you to share your perspective, abuse victims don’t want to hear your perspective. The hash tag is a safe place for them to go. and they don’t need to hear you tell them about God’s wrath.”
How do they know what God can or can’t do through the proclamation of His Word and the gospel? I get that people like this care very much for abuse victims but people like this seem to have hardened their hearts against most 5 point calvinists. I believe the approach of only listening to victims is not helping them because the gospel, which is the only hope for any of us in this broken, fallen world is not preached. The comfort of Christ is not seen as the only and final source of hope for abuse victims. Christ brings comfort to us in our afflictions. Christ is the way, the truth, and the life and there is no way to God but to go through Him.

Response to CP: Sexual Harassment

Disclaimer:
This post is written with Christian men and women as my intended audience.

Introduction

I got involved in a twitter debate over a tweet that someone made that allegedly mocked women by using #metoo to make a satirical remark about the nature of sexual harassment. Someone wrote a blog post about me in regards to defending that person (and by defending that person I was accused of approving a tweet that made light of abuse victims) so I want to make some articles explaining why I defended him. I understand the tweet may have upset women who have been sexually abused so I have taken that into consideration and understand that some of this may be difficult for you. Please know that I aim to speak the truth in love. That means speaking truth and speaking in a loving way.

CP Response Intoduction

I will now respond to some of the things that were written about me for defending the guys who made the tweets. I will refer to the author of the blog post that was written about me as CP (I don’t want to share their post or reference their blog name without permission). CP, I am truly sincere in my apology for making assumptions about you. I am fairly new to twitter and I got involved to win an argument. I now realize this was a very wrong approach. After I apologized to you I took the time to read your “about me” section (something I should have done right away) and I think I better understand your perspective. I will put her words in red.

“As a child and to adulthood, I was a Christian (in Christianese talk, this means I once “accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior”) – but have been strongly questioning my faith in the last year or so (as in 2012, 2013), so I have been flirting with agnosticism.

(Edit, May 2016: I think I may find Deism more of a fit for me than Agnosticism. I don’t know.)” 

I also was raised in that type of Christianity. The “accept Jesus into your heart and pray the sinner’s prayer” kind of Christianity. I plan to write a blog post soon about why I think this kind of Christianity has actually led to a lot of confusion and doubt in the church. This goes way back to the 1800s with a guy named Charles Finney. I would say I encourage you to think through what Deism would mean for you. I’m not sure what definition you have for Deism but here is a definition I found:

“belief in the existence of a supreme being, specifically of a creator who does not intervene in the universe. The term is used chiefly of an intellectual movement of the 17th and 18th centuries that accepted the existence of a creator on the basis of reason but rejected belief in a supernatural deity who interacts with humankind”

If the creator simply set things in motion but cannot or does not involve himself with humankind then all of the suffering and wickedness that happens has no purpose or eternal value or meaning. This supreme being allowed things like rape, murder, greed, and lust to enter into the world but this being has no desire or reason to be involved with what it created. These things simply happen and are a reality for humans but in the end they serve no purpose. Bad stuff just happens. However the God of the Bible has revealed Himself to humans and is a personal Being:

“1 The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the expanse proclaims the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour out speech;
night after night they communicate knowledge.
There is no speech; there are no words;
their voice is not heard.
Their message has gone out to the whole earth,
and their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun.
It is like a bridegroom coming from his home;
it rejoices like an athlete running a course.
It rises from one end of the heavens
and circles to their other end;
nothing is hidden from its heat.” Psalms 19:1-6

13 He is here:
the one who forms the mountains,
creates the wind,
and reveals his thoughts to man,
the one who makes the dawn out of darkness
and strides on the heights of the earth.
The Lord, the God of Armies, is his name. Amos 4:13

18 For God’s wrath is revealed from heaven against all godlessness and unrighteousness of people who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth, 19 since what can be known about God is evident among them,because God has shown it to them. 20 For his invisible attributes, that is, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen since the creation of the world, being understood through what he has made. As a result, people are without excuse. 21 For though they knew God, they did not glorify him as God or show gratitude. Instead, their thinking became worthless, and their senseless hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man, birds, four-footed animals, and reptiles.

24 Therefore God delivered them over in the desires of their hearts to sexual impurity, so that their bodies were degraded among themselves. 25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served what has been created instead of the Creator, who is praised forever.Amen. Romans 1:18-25

14 What should we say then? Is there injustice with God? Absolutely not!15 For he tells Moses, I will show mercy to whom I will show mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.[l]16 So then, it does not depend on human will or effort but on God who shows mercy. 17 For the Scripture tells Pharaoh, I raised you up for this reason so that I may display my power in you and that my name may be proclaimed in the whole earth.[m] 18 So then, he has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy and he hardens whom he wants to harden.

19 You will say to me, therefore, “Why then does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?” 20 But who are you, a mere man, to talk back to God? Will what is formed say to the one who formed it, “Why did you make me like this?” 21 Or has the potter no right over the clay, to make from the same lump one piece of pottery for honor and another for dishonor? 22 And what if God, wanting to display his wrath and to make his power known, endured with much patience objects of wrath prepared for destruction? 23 And what if he did this to make known the riches of his glory on objects of mercy that he prepared beforehand for glory— 24 on us, the ones he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles? Romans 9:14-24

I recommend reading through the book of Job or at least chapters 38-42. I will share a few things but it is too long to list all of it here:

Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind. He said:

Who is this who obscures my counsel
with ignorant words?
Get ready to answer me like a man;
when I question you, you will inform me.
Where were you when I established the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who fixed its dimensions? Certainly you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
What supports its foundations?
Or who laid its cornerstone
while the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

Who enclosed the sea behind doors
when it burst from the womb,
when I made the clouds its garment
and total darkness its blanket,
10 when I determined its boundaries
and put its bars and doors in place,
11 when I declared: “You may come this far, but no farther;
your proud waves stop here”? Job 38:1-11

Do you know when mountain goats give birth?
Have you watched the deer in labor?
Can you count the months they are pregnant
so you can know the time they give birth?
They crouch down to give birth to their young;
they deliver their newborn.
Their offspring are healthy and grow up in the open field.
They leave and do not return.

Who set the wild donkey free?
Who released the swift donkey from its harness?
I made the desert its home,
and the salty wasteland its dwelling.
It scoffs at the noise of the village
and never hears the shouts of a driver.
It roams the mountains for its pastureland,
searching for anything green.
Would the wild ox be willing to serve you?
Would it spend the night by your feeding trough?
10 Can you hold the wild ox to a furrow by its harness?
Will it plow the valleys behind you?
11 Can you depend on it because its strength is great?
Would you leave it to do your hard work?
12 Can you trust the wild ox to harvest your grain
and bring it to your threshing floor? Job 39:1-12 

The Lord answered Job:

Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who argues with God give an answer.

Then Job answered the Lord:

I am so insignificant. How can I answer you?
I place my hand over my mouth.
I have spoken once, and I will not reply;
twice, but now I can add nothing.

Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind:

Get ready to answer me like a man;
When I question you, you will inform me.
Would you really challenge my justice?
Would you declare me guilty to justify yourself?
Do you have an arm like God’s?
Can you thunder with a voice like his?

10 Adorn yourself with majesty and splendor,
and clothe yourself with honor and glory.
11 Pour out your raging anger;
look on every proud person and humiliate him.
12 Look on every proud person and humble him;
trample the wicked where they stand.
13 Hide them together in the dust;
imprison them in the grave.
14 Then I will confess to you
that your own right hand can deliver you. Job 40:1-14

Then Job replied to the Lord:

I know that you can do anything
and no plan of yours can be thwarted.
You asked, “Who is this who conceals my counsel with ignorance?”
Surely I spoke about things I did not understand,
things too wondrous for me to know.
You said, “Listen now, and I will speak.
When I question you, you will inform me.”
I had heard reports about you,
but now my eyes have seen you.
Therefore, I reject my words and am sorry for them;
I am dust and ashes. Job 42:1-6

“(summary: I have been stalked online before by three different people, which is one reason I no longer post under my real name; two of them had my real name and one used it to track me down in real life)”

I am so sorry that this happened to you. Being stalked is never okay, it is sinful.

“I at first thought this would be a blog to share with, or offer encouragement to, other older single Christian ladies.

As time has progressed though, I’ve become more cynical.

I’ve discovered that many things I was taught by Christian parents and leaders and Christian material is wrong about marriage and relationships, so I’ve become a little more cynical, and the blog reflects that a little – I also lost someone very close to me a few years ago (she died), and that has shaken my Christian faith a little.”

I think I understand your cynicism. Mainstream Christian culture for a while has been focused on morality and “doing what is right” more than focusing on Jesus and on actually knowing what you believe. What Would Jesus Do and Veggietales were popular when I was growing up. Both of these focus so much on what we have to do and they don’t talk about what Jesus has already done for us. The saying should have been “What Did Jesus Do?”. When we trust in Christ, His perfect obedience to God is imputed to us…so when God sees us He sees the perfect righteousness of Jesus. I know what it is like to lose someone close. I was very close to my grandmother and she passed in 2012. It was hard. However God is faithful, He doesn’t leave us or forsake us. I encourage you to turn to Him for healing and restoration.

“I am not left wing, liberal, progressive, or Democrat.”

You may not be politically liberal but talking about male privilege seems to be borrowing from the liberal view of humans. That there are groups of haves and have-nots. That men are more privileged than women. Shifting from focusing on the individual to focusing on the groups that individuals identify with. Holding the belief that men (generally speaking) have no idea what it is like to experience sexual harassment. I would encourage you to be careful with that kind of thinking. I have not experienced sexual harassment, but I been through some painful experiences. My pains are not better or worse than pains you have felt. Everyone has very real and painful experiences, regardless of what group they belong to or what group people assign them to.

Responding to the CP post:

“Ricky Mauser accused me of having a “victim mentality,” though he doesn’t know the first thing about me.”

I’m sorry for the way that came across. I will clarify what I meant when I used the phrase “victim mentality”. I have not been sexually abused or harassed but I’ve been through some pretty awful experiences (I don’t want to nor do I have to share them). Now, I could be bitter and resentful towards those who have hurt me. I could hold anger in my heart. I could stay a victim. I chose to be a survivor. A survivor seeks healing. A survivor doesn’t let what happened to them keep them in a state of bitterness and anger. I’m not saying this happens overnight…it took a while for me to overcome my hurts…but I am at the place where I have forgiven those who have hurt me. However I am a Christian and Christ is what has brought healing to me and helped me overcome my painful experiences. I did not mean to insult you when I said you have a victim mentality…I meant to say it seemed to me like instead of seeking healing and restoration that is found in Christ you have become bitter and angry. I understand why you responded the way you did. The church has failed a lot of people. Jesus did not fail you though. 

“The women tweeting about their experiences with sexual harassment (whether it was unwanted sexual flirting, or on the job sexual harassment, or having been raped), were actual, honest to God, Victims.

They were not “playing victim” or holding a “victim mentality.”

Unless you are so warped to think that being raped or sexually harassed on a job is no big deal – but then, you are a man who likely never experienced such treatment yourself, so of course you have no empathy, because you’ve not endured it first hand.

Rape, male entitlement, sexism, sexual harassment, unwanted sexual male attention, men treating women like sex objects, sex trafficking of girls and women, cat-calling, groping, and the like, are all VERY REAL phenomenon.”

 

I would agree that most, if not all of the people who use “#metoo” are honestly victims. However the reality that there are women who initiate but later regret it and make accusations of sexual assault makes me wonder if there is anyone that is using “#metoo” when they were consenting to sex. Again, I think being raped or sexually harassed is a VERY big deal. However, I believe Jesus is the hope that victims need. I have very much empathy for anyone who endures sinful acts against them but ESPECIALLY sexual assault and harassment. All of those things you listed are real phenomenon and are sinful and should be condemned. 

“I was never- the- less subjected to occasional sexual harassment by men from the time I was a teen to my adult years, as have most women.

To offer but a few examples to what I refer:

I was approached by men I did not know when I was 18, 19 years old when I worked as a sales clerk at a store in the mall, where the men would walk up to me, make it a point to let me know they were leaning over to peer down my blouse (to view my breasts), then they’d comment on my bosom…

The men at the store would make crude, sexually suggestive comments to me, the male customers would do sexually inappropriate things to our store mannequins, knowing full well I could see them fondle and do other sexual things to the female mannequins (they were trying to scare me, sexually intimidate me), and so on.

Again, I was about 18, 19 at the time, a very devout, chaste Christian woman, and these were grown men ranging in age from 30 to 50 behaving inappropriately to me or in front of me.

Grown men were sexually harassing me, a teen girl. It made my working there uncomfortable at times.”

What happened to you was sinful and wrong. Men should not be acting that way. But we live in a fallen world. Men who do not have a genuine faith in God act according to their sinful, fallen natures. My wife worked as a waitress and has shared some of the stupid and sinful things men would say or do that are very similar to what you’ve described here. It’s wrong no question about it. But what do you do now? Hold on to that and grow bitter or turn to Christ and receive healing and peace? I encourage you to turn to Christ.

“Did you, Ricky Mauser, experience that sort of sexual harassment on a regular basis, as I did, when you were a teen and worked at a minimum wage job at a store? Probably not.

And why not? Because you are a man, you live a life of male privilege in your male bubble, where men are rarely the recipients of such disgusting and frightening sexual behavior from males, or from females.”

No, I didn’t experience that sort of sexual harassment. I’ve already discussed the idea of male privilege a couple of times, so I will just again say that while I have not experienced sexual abuse or harassment I have been through terrible experiences. You don’t know me either and I strongly condemn that kind of behavior. 

“In one of my college classes when I was in my early 20s,, one male student would NOT leave me alone. I did not want, ask for, or enjoy his amorous attention.

My male class mate was keen on dating me. He was always approaching me, flirting. His attention made me uncomfortable.

I was in that class to learn and make good grades, not to flirt or pick up a boyfriend.”

I can only speak from my experience but it is pretty common for men who go to college to seek a wife there. I will get into pressures that are put on men in this response section.

My Christian mother, though, taught me, and my mother assumed that the Bible tells women, to never to hurt someone’s feelings, don’t be direct, so I could never come right out and point blank tell the guy in my class, “I am not interested. I don’t want to date you, please leave me alone.”

My wife has severe anxiety and depression and is very similar. She does not like hurting people’s feelings and that has led to people taking advantage of her (in a general sense). Saying “no” to people that micromanage her or engaging in any kind of conflict is extremely hard for her. The fact is you can tell men that you aren’t interested and for them to leave you alone.

However, his male buddy in the class could read my facial expressions and body language – which conveyed I was annoyed by the guy’s romantic attention, and wanted him to buzz off – and the friend of the guy told the guy, “She’s not interested. Leave her alone.”

But did the guy leave me alone?

No. He continued with more of the same behavior, every time class met.

The male classmate would not get the hint I was not interested in flirting back, or with dating him. I was Greta Garbo, and my body language made it plain: I wanted to be left alone.

Going to class every day became stressful for me, because I had to endure unwanted male attention.

The male student’s unwanted flirtation was not amusing or cute.

I had a difficult time concentrating on my school work in that class because of him.

 

“Men are pretty stupid sometimes. Men (generally) also have the pressure that if they don’t find a wife they will die alone. Finding a wife is probably the number one goal for a Christian man who has not chosen lifelong singleness. So I can only make an assumption about this guy but if you never actually told him that you weren’t interested, he probably thought you were playing hard to get. Guys also will not always listen to what a guy friend says when it comes to finding a potential girlfriend. Guys are competitive, they like games. If a lady doesn’t come out and reject them they will most likely take it as playing hard to get. Now if you had told him you weren’t interested and he continued with the behavior then I would say he was harassing you. I’m not blaming you or belittling your experience. I  just am explaining how I see it as a man. I am sorry this was a distraction for your schooling and that you genuinely felt threatened by the behavior of this guy.

“Persistent, unwanted amorous attention is NOT something most men endure from women. Receiving unwanted romantic overtures from men is scary, it is exhausting, and it’s annoying.

You men do not experience this most of the time, not nearly as often as girls and women do.

If you, a man, experience it from a woman, you feel comfortable telling the woman to stop it –

Most women, however, have been conditioned by culture and church to believe that it’s wrong, mean, or too “man-like” for a female to be blunt, bold, and so assertive with a man – we are taught to suffer this sexist garbage in silence, and pray and hope that the sexist man tires and leaves us alone.”

Women should be assertive with men. I hate that this concept has been pushed and that women have been told that they can’t be blunt and bold. Women should be able to tell a man that they do not want the attention and the men should be respectful and stop. However there are a lot of sinful men out there and even men who claim to be Christians that think they can take advantage of women. THIS IS WRONG. Men are to be respectful of women and to treat them with dignity.

 “As a teen and 20-something, I’ve had men I do not know, as I was walking along city or neighborhood streets, slow down in their cars, to follow me –

Some of these men didn’t say anything to me, while others would cat-call from their cars – both types of “attention” frightened me, because I did not know if these sexist sleaze balls were planning on tossing me in the back of their car, kidnapping me, and raping me, or if they would just drive off.

And yes, those incidents made me a victim of sexual harassment. I was a victim in reality in those situations, I was not living in a “victim hood mentality.”

I am sorry that you had to go through experiences like that. I understand your fear. Men that slow down their cars next to women who are walking are very creepy and this kind of behavior should be called out and condemned. Again, I did not mean to insult you by saying you have a victim mentality. I meant to say that it seems like your experiences have made you a victim and not a survivor. Survivor meaning someone who has been growing and healing and has overcome the difficult experiences they have gone through.

I did nothing to “ask for” or “deserve” the sexual harassment from any of those men.

I dressed modestly (though how a girl or woman dresses should not be a factor in these situations).

I did not enjoy the harassment, and at times, the harassment scared me, because I did not know if the man in all these cases would stop with lewd comments, or try to rape me or kill me.”

I agree with you here. Modesty should not be a factor in situations like this. Men should not make any unwanted advances on a women. Now flirting is a little different. If you tell a guy to stop flirting and he keeps doing it then he is acting wrongly and needs to stop. However, flirting in and of itself is not necessarily wrong. I’m sorry you have had to live in this kind of fear. Christ brings hope and love. Christ takes away fears and gives us hope in Him. 

 “It is a FACT that some men harass and sexually abuse women. This is not something I am making up.

Noting the reality of the world in which we live, that some men do sexually exploit or harass girls and women, is not “acting like a victim,” nor is it a sign of a “victim mentality” nor is it “being paranoid of all men.”

I agree with that fact. It is also a fact that there are women that fake allegations. Not the majority, but it does happen. I am all for pointing on examples of sexual harassment and calling them out. We should, especially as Christians, call out sexual misconduct and inappropriate behavior. However as Christians we are to share the gospel with everyone. We call out sexual sins like these but we also are to point those who have been victims to Jesus and the hope he brings.

“Married women are told by complementarians that they must engage in a “one way” submission to their husbands, by way of Ephesians 5: 22.”

Husbands are to submit to Christ. Husbands are to LOVE their wives. Married women are to submit to their husbands. I do not support the view that women MUST submit to abusive husbands, that women MUST be silent in the home, or that men can do anything they want. 

“If you try flirting with a woman, and she turns you down, or is otherwise giving signs she is not into you, then BACK OFF and LEAVE HER ALONE.

Men need to learn that women do not play “hard to get.”

Some of you men think you’re being “persistent” (or charming or endearing) by “pursuing” a woman, but all you are really doing is STALKING her, possibly annoying the hell out of her, and guaranteeing a restraining order.”

I agree with telling a man to back off if she turns you down. However, giving signs can truly be confusing for men. There are some women that do play hard to get. They want to be pursued. This doesn’t mean I am insensitive to those who gave signs expecting men to stop. However men cannot read minds. Men are also pretty stupid. We also think in a one track mind. We focus on one thing until we accomplish it or until we get a clear and direct answer. So to expect men to understand the signs you are giving is expecting a lot. I agree there may be some cases where a man can clearly tell the woman is afraid and keeps trying. However the nature of sexual harassment is not black and white. There are some black and white aspects of sexual harassment such as stalking you and slowing down a car. However there are gray areas too.

“Men are not sexualized near as often as girls and women are, or to the same degree.”

Women are sexualized more than men. However, men are told they they must be strong, muscular, and handsome. We are not told that being sensitive and showing our emotions is okay behavior for men. We are told that we need to take charge and boss people around. We aren’t generally taught to empathize with others. We have our own struggles and problems. So yes we don’t have to worry about sexual harassment as much as women do…but men have their own standards of what men should be like and we have our own disadvantages. And then taking it back to the individual level, we all experience painful things as individuals. Every painful experience is just as serious to each person as the experiences that other people go through are serious for them. I may not have been raped but I was bullied in high school. Rape is a lot more serious of course, but for me being bullied was painful and hurt. God doesn’t compare who had worse things happen to those who didn’t experience a lot of pain. ALL sin is wrong in God’s eyes. Telling a lie is breaking God’s law just as much as rape is breaking God’s law. Yet Jesus came to the earth and lived a sinless life. He died on the cross and took the punishment for ALL of our sins. Jesus bore the wrath of God in our place. Jesus forgives us for our sins so we should be on a path towards forgiving those who have sinned against us.

“As a man, do you feel that any and every woman is entitled to your body, having sex with you, getting a smile from you (even when you’re having a bad day)?”

No. I’m committed to my wife. Men need to stop asking women to smile. It’s stupid. Men are not entitled to have sex with anyone besides the person they marry. That doesn’t mean sex on demand, but husbands and wives have a Christian duty to come together sexually on a regular basis ( regular can look different for different couples). Demanding sex and selfishly withholding sex is wrong and sinful behavior for both husbands and wives.

Do most women ever make you feel that way, that you “owe” them merely for being a man and possessing a penis, then they get angry when you don’t give them what they want and expect?

Again this kind of behavior is sinful. I don’t “owe them” anything. I married my wife, knowing that it would require a lot of sacrifice on my part. Men need to step up and be better husbands and fathers. It is quite common for a man to come home from work and expect his wife to have supper ready, then he goes and does his own thing. That might be watching TV, playing video games or playing on his phone. Whatever it is, instead of spending time with his family  this kind of man spends time on himself. Men need to step up and make time for their wives and children. A man’s real job starts when he gets home from work. No more distant dads and no more halfhearted husbands. I plan to address this more in a future post.

Do you ever have women you don’t know grabbing your ass, making lewd comments at you?

No i don’t but those things are very sinful and every Christian should condemn this kind of behavior.

Have you, a man, ever had it implied to you by a male or female boss, that if you don’t “put out” sexually, that your job is therefore in jeopardy?

No and this is sinful and wrong. 

If you do turn a woman down if she asks you out on a date, do you ever worry she will respond by screaming at you in fury, hitting you, shooting you, or stabbing you to death?

No but I have worried if the woman would humiliate me in the way they rejected me. All of those responses to being turned down are sinful.

“Men don’t have to think about, or fear, being raped on your way to your car at night while out shopping, and so carry your car keys like a weapon, just in case you are attacked.

I will agree that most of the time women are afraid to walk at night almost anywhere. However, even I would be afraid of walking at night in certain places. I wouldn’t be afraid of being raped but I would be afraid of being mugged or shot.

You, if you are a man, don’t have to worry about not being called in for a job interview based on your gender,  as due to unconscious bias, employers prefer male names on applications over female names, or do things such as take male employee input more seriously than they do female employee input.

All employers discriminate their prospective employees. Illegal discrimination is unethical and wrong. Actually, as a white man I probably would have a harder time getting a job because of affirmative action. Companies today are pushing for diversity in the workplace. Minorities and women are favored more than white men in some areas. 

Here is an article by Marty Nemko on white male discrimnation:

http://www.martynemko.com/articles/are-white-males-getting-shortchanged_id1229

“I had one office job where one male co-worker subtly kept pursuing me because he had a crush on me. I didn’t like his romantic attention, but I kept my mouth shut.”

I wish you would have said something to him. Men sometimes don’t understand when they should stop pursuing.

Another male co-worker I had thought it was acceptable (when the two main bosses were out of office, and he was put in charge of the office) to make sexually suggestive or crude jokes, sometime at women’s expense, and he did so in front of women, which made me feel uncomfortable.

This is wrong and sinful. No Christian should make crude jokes or sexually suggestive comments like that. Men should not be joking like that. What kind of behavior would you expect from people who do not follow Christ? People following the sinful inclinations of their hearts.

Then you have men who fire their female employees because they find the female worker “too pretty.”

This is dumb. No man should do this.

A Lesson Learned about Christian love and Unity

I’ve learned a very big lesson after having to make two public apologies for misrepresenting people on twitter. I did not purposefully set out to do that but it happened because I became very emotional and defensive over what I believed was true. If we are not careful we all are prone to do this. It’s not always because we are selfish (although there are some people who have that motive) but because we truly care about the truth and about other people.

We are all Christians and we need to support each other in spreading the name and love of Christ. When we fight amongst ourselves and act in an unChristlike manner, we show the world that we are no different. We are to build eachother up with our words. We are to comfort the brokenhearted. May we strive to be a united Church. People from different cultures, races, and nations. Men and women, adults and children. All united by this common gospel message that Christ came in the world to save sinners. That he preached a gospel of love and repentance. A gospel of turning from sin to living a life of love based on the grace and love that Christ showed us when he took our sins upon the cross and was resurrected 3 days later.

I am a calvinist and there are people who aren’t so fond of calvinists. There are people who believe that calvinist/reformed Christianity is a dangerous belief system and a cult. However there are many misrepresentations of what calvinists actually believe that people bring into these debates. Before I became a calvinist I was taught to watch out for those cold hearted calvinists. “Calvinist” just has a negative stigma in the church and I used to believe that calvinism was dangerous. We don’t believe God chose you to go to hell if you reject Christ. We don’t believe God is a puppet master who chose exactly how everything would happen or that we are robots. This is just another example of an area where we can disagree on something but still be united on the gospel message of Christ coming into the world to save us from our sins.

Whether or not an inter faith dialogue between a Christian and a Muslim in a church building violated Scripture is a serious matter. The debate between Dr. White and Dr. Zachariades over free will matters. The recent racism discussion in America and kneeling American football players matters. These things matter because we believe we are being faithful to Scripture and because we care about truth and that people may be led astray by false teachings and/or error. However we can sometimes forget that the church is made up of every tribe, tongue, and nation. We can focus so much on the issues surrounding us in our country, state, local community, political affiliation and neglect to remember that if we believe the gospel we are united as a people. We are the body of Christ. Imagine if someone’s body parts started fighting the other parts. The fist punches the stomach or the hand pokes the eyes.  We only hurt ourselves when we fight with eachother. It is not easy for us (especially for us Americans) to admit when we have acted wrongly, but especially on twitter where you have so many eyes that will see your apology.

Twitter can sometimes give you a feeling of power that you don’t get in most settings and that you don’t usually feel when you are talking to someone on the phone or face to face.  We don’t think to privately contact the person we are waging a war against on social media. We dont always first try to genuinely ask them to explain their positions. We don’t want to hear their perspective or attempt to understand their point of view. We want to win the fight. We want to show them that we are right and they are wrong. It hurts our pride.

We need to speak the truth in love. We can hold to our convictions and use Scripture as our basis for those truths. However we need to remember to speak the truth in LOVE. Love as displayed by Christ in his willingness to die on the cross for people who sinned against Him. He knew the sins that we would commit but he humbled himself and died on the cross for us. May we strive to have the same love for those around us and share the gospel with those close to us and those around the world. The gospel is the hope the world needs to hear. The gospel takes broken, sinful people and turns them into redeemed, holy saints.